(MP3 duration: 3hrs 53mins)
In these times of spiritual ignorance, the true meaning of marriage is almost unknown. Most believe that marriage is all joy and happiness, and when this delusion is shattered the marriage falls apart. It is therefore important for couples to know the true meaning of marriage if they want to have a successful marriage.
In this talk, Father Kosmas uses the writings and advice of various saints and contemporary elders to show that marriage is a struggle as well as a joy. He emphasizes Christ’s teaching that one attains salvation through suffering – that is, the carrying of one’s cross – and that marriage is one such cross. When Orthodox Christians understand that the difficulties and struggles of marriage are spiritually beneficial, then they will also understand that, except in extreme circumstances, leaving one’s marriage due to difficulties can be a rejection of one’s cross.
The following questions are also discussed: why did an elder advise one couple to argue with others? Why did a saint describe spouses’ condemnation of each other as ‘poison’? Why did an elder compare people who look for faults in their spouses to filthy flies? How should one deal with a very difficult spouse? What valuable lesson did Saint Anthony the Great learn from a layman? What does the Church teach regarding those who desire to leave their spouses?
Other points covered in this talk include: the disastrous effects of nagging; how Saint Paul condemns those who do not care about their spouses’ salvation; the saints’ advice on how to correct one’s spouse; the horrible effects parents’ quarrelling has on children; an elder’s advice to a woman who feared that her husband would divorce her; and the objection of some to the Church’s glorification of a woman who was physically abused by her husband.